Does life go on?
by Zabel
Summary: 5 years After The Outsiders Ponyboy's life starts to nosedive. first fanfic, so please no flaming. i sort of wrote this just to annoy my English teacher, so if you don't like lots of character deaths, don't read.
1. Chapter 1

I wandered through the cemetery, my mind elsewhere as I blankly searched for my friend's gravestone.

Five years ago Johnny had been alive. Five years ago today Johnny had his 16th birthday, and now it was his 21st. I thought back to my memories of Johnny- soft-spoken and shy- especially so after the first incident with Bob. Johnny had always been so peaceful- for a Greaser.

The Greaser/Soc wars no longer meant anything to me- they had stopped meaning anything to me five years ago when I'd realised just how pointless they were. Nobody ever truly won, as Randy had said. No side could ever beat the other, and we would still be at the bottom of the ecological ladder, so to speak. Instead of making the Socs realise just how dangerous their attacks could become when Bob was killed, they mostly became more violent- they only saw that some Greaser had killed their friend. They didn't care about the circumstance- Socs would never believe that a Greaser could be in the right and still be a Soc. Sure, a few had ditched the wars since then, but there were always more Socs willing to fight in their place.

Suddenly brought back to the present, I located the gravestone, and sat down next to it.

"Johnny, it's your 21st birthday today, so I thought I'd drop by to say hello- tell you how things're going round here now."

I sighed, and rearranged my legs on the grass- I knew Johnny couldn't hear him, but it felt good to talk, and to be near to my old friend again.

"Y'remember about Soda's girlfriend- Sandy? Did I tell you about how she left? Well, anyway, after she left, Soda sent her a letter, but got real upset when it got back to him unopened. He waited almost a whole year for her, sending a letter every month to try and get at least a reason, and around about the ninth month he got one back! He was so happy he was running round the house, jumping across the park and yelling how great life was to the clouds and every poor sod who came near him. He read it, of course- y'don't wait nine months for a letter then not open it! – and it seems that Sandy's dad had been taking the letters before she even knew they were there- she only managed to get that last one because it slid under the doormat before her dad took the mail in. She guesses her dad didn't want her hanging around with Greasers, but guess what? She went and applied to the University a few miles from right here! Of course, she got accepted, and now she's staying at a flat just down the road from us, so she can be with Soda all the time!"

I beamed, and shifted again on the grass- my leg was going dead- before continuing.

"Do you remember about how ol' Two Bit and Marcia were chatting at the theatre? They got together a few weeks after... after everything got cleared up. They still haven't broken up after five years now, and they might even get married soon- Two Bit ain't too big on that though- he can't stand formal clothes."

I looked around, suddenly noticing the time- it was starting to get dark- if I wanted to have tea with Soda and Darry I'd have to hurry.

Jogging back to my home I began to feel worried- I was sure something bad was going to happen, but I couldn't work out what. As I smelt smoke I broke into a sprint, turning the corner of the street to see a house aflame. Fiery tongues licking the windows, some bursting with the heat, others going blackened. The roof was almost glowing, and was starting to collapse- as it did I heard a scream.

Memories came flooding back- the church, Johnny being injured by the falling beam- the hospital afterwards.


	2. Chapter 2

I almost sighed with relief when I realised that it wasn't my and my brothers' house on fire- but I was immediately stricken with guilt for being happy. A fire engine had already pulled up outside, and was spraying the building down, while more firemen rushed inside to find whoever had screamed. As I crossed the street I had to leap out of the way of a frantic ambulance as it swerved across the road to park as close as it safely could to the building.

As I stared, transfixed, at the scene before me I remembered about Soda and Darry, and was torn- if I didn't hurry up then they would get worried about me, but if they knew about the fire they wouldn't be at home anyway, and would probably arrive where I was within a couple of minutes anyway.

Opting for the former, I managed to drag myself away from the hypnotic fire and jog home. The front door stood open, with Soda peering outside, as I jogged up.

"Sorry I'm late- I got sidetracked- someone's house's on fire down the road." Pony explained, wondering at the frozen look on Soda's face.

"Which house was it Pony? Which one?" Soda demanded frantically as he strained to see the burning building which eluded his sight somewhat, due to being around a corner and about 5 minutes jog away.

"Uh, number seventy four I think- it was a bit hard to re-"

"Seventy four? Are you sure!"

"Like I said, it was a little hard to read with all the flames but I think so…"

Sodapop's face had gone pale, and he leant against the doorframe as if exhausted.

"That's Two Bit's place. He moved there last summer, remember?"

I gasped, and looked back over my shoulder in the direction of the smoke,

"I heard a scream though! Someone was in there- oh god I hope it wasn't Two Bit!"

My eyes flicked from the smoke to Soda and back again. Deciding, I swiftly turned and ran back along the street, hearing Soda call out to Darry to follow.

The three of us ran as fast as we could, arriving in time to see an old-looking woman carried out by the firemen and put in the empty ambulance. I deduced that either she was the one who screamed, or someone hadn't been found- and wasn't going to be, since the ambulance was driving away, and the fire had mainly died down.

We sat, leaning against the opposite wall, watching the flames flicker out, observing the patterns of soot on the remaining glass, relief on all our faces- at least it hadn't been someone we knew. Probably just the old lady in the flat below that Two Bit had told them about- the one who liked to play classical music at 6o'clock every day.

Darry recalled something about their meal- it seemed he hadn't remembered to switch the oven off before running out to see the fire, since he looked startled for a moment, then ran back to their house shouting,

"We left the oven on! It's going to bloody burn!"

Once Soda and I arrived back home Soda phoned Two Bit to tell him, sitting in the living room looking tired and sad- after all, he had to explain to his friend that all of said friend's stuff had just been burnt to the ground, along with one of his neighbours being injured.


	3. Chapter 3

We ate in silence, each of us down hearted about Two Bit's loss, and none wanting to talk about it. We were Greasers. Greasers didn't cry. And we each knew that if we talked about all Two Bit collections of stuff being burnt to ashes we'd probably start feeling pretty upset for our old friend.

The next few weeks passed uneventfully- Two Bit moved in with the Curtis' for a while- just until he could find a job- and I continued going to the university down the road.

It was a Thursday when the problems started- when I got back from University at around 4pm I noticed a gang of Socs wandering about- I didn't recognise them, and so I stayed in the shadows of the buildings I passed. Just before I reached my house I saw them surround someone's car- were they going to go joyriding? They seemed to be fiddling with the door or something, since the alarm suddenly went off, startling them. Most of them ran off- just two remained, one of whom was carrying a tin can of something, which he poured through the window, then the other set it alight with his lighter- I watched them in shock- they were _burning_ things now? This wasn't good.

I swiftly opened my front door and went in, pulling it shut firmly behind me.

"Darry! Darry- there're some Socs out there setting fire to someone's car- should we phone the police?"

I knew we should phone the police, but I also knew that a few Greasers in the area were trying to lay low from the cops at the moment, so it might not be the best idea to go inviting them round to ask questions.

"Where's it parked?" Darry asked worriedly.

"Not quite on the pavement, over the road" I replied confidently.

"Fine, we'll leave it. If anyone asks, we knew nothing about it- got it?"

I nodded uneasily- I knew it was wrong to let someone's stuff burn, but it would be worse if half of my friends got taken off to jail just because I decided to report a single burning car. Glancing nervously out the window I retreated to the kitchen- I hated fire. I had the beginnings of a phobia since Johnny's death. It was funny, I thought, the way I hadn't been scared of the fire when I'd been walking through the glowing madness of the church, and yet now even getting close to any fire bigger than a candle flame spooked me. I put it down to the situation- at the church there'd been lives to save, but now there wasn't anything worth risking my life for on the line.

On Saturday Soda woke up to hear a crackling sound from the front of the house and me screaming

"Everybody up! The house is on fire! We've got to get out!" while running frantically around the room grabbing the most important belongings- wallet, phone, keys and lastly my University research books.

Soda rushed out through the back door, with me on his heels. As we exited into the garden we heard the telltale cracking of beams in the hallway.

"DARRY! Get out of there! Get out!" I screamed, trying to leap back through the door, only to get caught on the check by a piece of splintered glass as the window exploded- it seemed the fire had spread very quickly through the bedroom.

A loud bang followed by a thud caught our attention- I instantly tried to force my way through the doorway, as did Soda, but the hallway in front of us collapsed.

Vaulting over the back yard fence we ran around to the front of the house, to see a bunch of Socs being driven off by Two Bit and some other Greasers. His face stricken, Soda ran over to Two Bit.

"Has Darry come out? Where's Darry! He couldn't get out through the back- it collapsed!" He yelled, getting almost hysterical now.

Two Bit shook Soda slightly,

"Darry's in there? Oh man!"


	4. Chapter 4

Two Bit looked, horrified, at the burning house. A figure was just visible through the curtain of the front room, but the flames licking out of the burst window were too hot for anyone to get through.

I watched the silhouetted figure- Darry- move about sluggishly; the smoke inhalation must have been getting to him. I couldn't believe Darry was caught in a burning building. Just like Johnny.

As I watched the ghastly scene lit up in red and yellow I noticed the ceiling in the room seemed to be sagging.

Suddenly realising what was happening I leapt as close as I could to the window, and screamed to Darry,

"Get out of there, Darry! The ceiling isn't safe there either! Just jump out the window- you can get through those flames fine! Come one!"

With rising despair I saw the ceiling collapse, and I could have sworn I saw the beams hit Darry, crushing him to the floor instantly.

I don't remember much after that for a while, past running towards the shell of a house, before being held back by Soda and Two Bit as I tried to break down the door. At some point I heard sirens, and saw blue flashing lights, but I was too shocked to do anything.

I'd lost Darry.

When I saw the fireman come out carrying Darry I thought he was alive, but the paramedics checked him over in a matter of seconds, then started shaking their head as they placed his corpse onto a stretcher, pulling a blanket over his head.

Darry really was gone.

Soda was distraught, and looked real mad about something, but I was too worn out to think about it. Looking around myself, I wondered numbly where we'd be sleeping tonight. We couldn't stay at Dallas's place- he was dead, and we couldn't stay at Two Bit's place or our own because they'd both burnt down. Just great. Maybe we could sleep in the parking lot, like Johnny and me had almost done. Just until tomorrow, just until we could make sense of what'd happened, and got everything sorted.

Two Bit seemed to have come to the same conclusion, since he started walking me and Soda towards the lot, his face blank, and his hands curled into fists- he seemed angry about something too. I could feel my mind growing foggier as we wandered into the lot, and it was only by Two Bit's prompting that I even bothered to lay down under a tree, instead of in the middle of the road where I'd been about to.

I went to sleep instantly, which was more or less fortunate, since if I hadn't I'd have been kept awake all night thinking about what happened.


	5. Chapter 5

I woke up to the freezing wind, and rolled over, noticing Soda and Two Bit were just starting to wake too.

"Hey Two Bit- what happened last night? Did we all just come down here to chat and fall asleep?" I asked hopefully. I didn't want to believe that what happened last night was real- I wanted it all to have been a nightmare, which I could just forget.

"Ponyboy, it's no use pretending. Yeah, the house burnt down. Darry- Darry's gone." Two Bit replied haltingly, not wanting to hear the words he spoke.

Noticing a police car, I automatically nudged the Soda awake, and bobbed my head towards a few trees- it wasn't good to be spotted by police, and this car was driving pretty slowly- they must have been looking for something, or someone.

Soda woke, and looked about groggily, but Two Bit grabbed him by the arm and pulled him out of sight of the car.

We sat behind a row of trees that lined the car park, and listened to the police in the vehicle as it meandered round the car park sluggishly.

"We're looking for three boys spotted at the scene of the crime, last seen sneaking away before police could apprehend them. Witnesses have informed us that those three were seen throwing petrol in bottles through the front window of the house. Here's a picture of two of them."

The policeman speaking held out a scrap of paper to his patrol partner, who looked startled.

"Weren't they those two involved in that whole burning-church fiasco five years ago?"

"Yeah, seems that this "Ponyboy" kid probably wasn't a hero after all- first a church burns down and he's right there, and now two houses in the area where he lives burn down within a week, along with a handful of cars- and he's seen outside both burning houses -if that ain't suspicious then I don't know what is."

The police car cruised off out of the car park and down the road, while Two Bit, Soda and I sat in stunned silence yet again. The police thought _we_ burnt the houses and the cars down? I wondered if maybe I should have reported that burning car when I saw it, but shrugged- what's done is done.

Soda was the first to speak, hesitantly.

"Maybe we should leave town or something- those Socs that set fire to everything must've been those "witnesses"- and the police aren't going to take our word over theirs again- we were lucky enough the first time, but this time we have no chance."

Soda was trembling slightly- he hadn't gotten used to the fact that Darry was gone yet, and it was painful to talk about him so nonchalantly then.

Two Bit made some sort of grunt, which I took to mean yes, and I nodded. I had no idea where we could go- the church was gone, and we couldn't ask Dallas if he knew anywhere else- not now he was dead. I queried Soda on this, but he just shrugged.

"We'll find somewhere. We just have to leave right now, before the cops start having really serious searches, and we get caught."

Walking away, Soda motioned for us to follow him.


	6. Chapter 6

We spent the rest of that day walking and hitchhiking our way randomly, in any direction but home. We finally stopped at a dingy hotel, which we had just enough money on us to pay for a room for the night. There were only two beds, but there was an old sofa too, so we at least had somewhere comfy to sleep that night.

As I lay on the sofa I thought about the fire. I wondered if I could have saved Darry if I hadn't ran out of the house so quickly- maybe I'd have been able to pull him out in time, before the corridor ceiling fell in- maybe I'd have been able to get him to jump out the window if I'd been with him in the house as it burnt.

Maybe if I'd phoned the police about the burning car we wouldn't be sleeping in a lousy hotel, hiding from the police who should be helping us- maybe the Socs would have been caught, and the house wouldn't have burnt down, and Darry would still be alive. It was my fault for not phoning them. For not pulling Darry out of the house after me. For not shouting louder at him to get out.

I curled up under the blanket that I'd gotten from the cupboard, and tried to sleep, guilt plaguing me as I lay in silence. I must have dropped off to sleep at some point, because the next thing I knew the sun was shining through the window of the hotel room, and Two Bit was pacing by his bed.

"What's the matter Two Bit? Apart from the obvious." I added dryly.

"Soda isn't here. When I woke up he wasn't in his bed, so I figured he must have gone to the toilet or something, but that was ages ago. Did you see him leave?"

Darry crouched down by the sofa, his eyes wide with worry

"Did he tell you where he was going?"

"N-no. I never heard him leave- are you sure he didn't just go downstairs to get some breakfast or something?"

I replied, confused- Soda wouldn't ditch us!

I was _sure_ Soda wouldn't ditch us- unless maybe he didn't want us to get in trouble, and he knew whatever he was doing was dangerous. I began to worry properly then. Had Soda turned himself in to the cops to try and convince them that we're innocent? Had he gone off to find somewhere safe for us to stay? What was he doing- and why hadn't he told us?

"Ponyboy- shut up! If he's gone then there's no point trying to figure out where, or why. We may as well stay here for a few more hours and have breakfast- if Soda might come back then we should stay here for as long as we can."

I shrugged, embarrassed- I hadn't realised I was speaking my thoughts aloud.

I walked over to the window and peered outside, trying to determine whether or not Soda could be outside, but it was just a more or less empty parking lot, with a distinct lack of Soda.


	7. Chapter 7

Noon rolled around, and still Soda hadn't turned up- we really wanted to wait until the last possible moment we could before leaving, in case Soda turned up to find we'd left him behind. We sat in the bar downstairs, and listened to the radio that the barman had switched to news broadcast.

"A man in his twenties has been killed outside the local police station when a van turned without indicating into the drive which he was crossing, hitting him. He was carrying a bus pass stating his name to be "Sodapop Curtis", though whether this is genuine or not has yet to be investigated."

Two Bit buried his face in his hands.

"Things just don't get better, do they?" He murmured hoarsely, leaning over the table using his arms as a pillow.

My throat constricted, and I tried not to cry. Soda was gone too? How many more people did I have to lose? Why did this all have to happen to me? I found no answers waiting to pop out into my mind, and I simply sprawled over the edge of the table I was sitting at.


	8. Chapter 8

"This is a robbery! Everyone down!"

Hearing the rather desperate voice as the door banged open, I decided that fate hated me. I dragged myself off the chair I was seated on, and collapsed to the floor, noticing that Two Bit was too absorbed in his misery to move. I reached out a hand to shake him, but the robber waved his gun at me when I moved, so I retreated, silently praying for Two Bit to realise what was happening and move.

"I'm not joking! I'm not afraid to use this gun! You better move right now, or I'm gonna shoot! I'm not kidding!"

Two Bit just sat there as the robber trained his gun on him.

"That's it! I really mean it!"

Two Bit still didn't move.

A shot rang out, and Two Bit jerked upright, before slumping down and off the chair, blood pouring out through his back and the his chest where the bullet had exited his body.

I lay on the floor in shock yet again- was he dead? Was he alive? If Two Bit was still alive then I needed to get him to a hospital as soon as possible!

"Hey!" I called out to the robber.

"Shut up and stay still!" was the polite response.

"Hey! I have to get my friend to a hospital or he'll die!"

"I said, _shut up!_" the robber shouted, aiming the gun at me menacingly.

"You'll get done for murder if he dies! You've got to let me phone an ambulance!"

A second shot rang out, and I stared uncomprehendingly at the blood trickling out of my arm where he'd shot me. Pretty soon my vision began to dim as I lost more blood. I tried to staunch the bleeding with my coat, but I was too near unconsciousness to manage it very well. As I began to pass out I heard sirens growing nearer, then further away as my hearing grew fuzzy and I sprawled further across the floor.


	9. Final chapter

When I came to I was in a hospital. I stayed there for a couple of days, unable to get any news about Two Bit out of the doctors, and under orders to stay in bed because of the amount of blood I lost.

On the third day of my stay in the bleak, strange-smelling hospital I was visited by police, who told me that I would be standing in court, under trial for repeated cases of arson and one charge of manslaughter.

The trial went by quickly. Seventeen Socs testified against me, and no Greasers turned up- I guessed the Socs had scared them all off, or beaten them up. I was given a conditional life sentence and jailed.

Finding that I had little in common with the hardened criminals I was living with, I stayed apart from them, and took to writing- sometimes fiction, and sometimes I wrote up accounts of my experiences. It never really mattered to me precisely _what_ I wrote- it was just something to keep my mind off the boredom, depression and general feeling of injustice.

I know life isn't fair, but I can't do anything about it. Not now. Maybe I could have if things had turned out differently, but they didn't. This is how things are, and there's nothing I can do now to change it.


End file.
